Friday, January 24, 2014

Stop the Stigma

I admitted my 10 year old son to a psychiatric hospital Wednesday night.

My son is mentally ill.

For years, I have apologized to people for who my son is.  His behaviors or quirks were something that were spoken about quietly, like they were something to be embarrassed of - Like WE were embarrassed of him. 

For years, I have defended myself, made excuses for a multitude of things - his medications, the therapies he receives, the fight for Special Education services, the way I choose to parent and discipline him. 

Today, all of this stops.  My son D is who he is.  My job as his mom is to provide the best care for him that I can to the best of my knowledge.  I am not a sheep - being blindly led by psychiatrists and therapists.  I do my research, and I am well educated about his associated Alphabet Soup diagnoses. He HAS to have medicine to function.  I don't let the staff at his school run over me at his IEP meetings.  I am on staff at his school, plus I know the laws regarding special education.

D got the shitty end of the deal when it came to genetics.  See I understand the raging in his mind, and the lows where all you want to do is hide from the world in a closet.  I have Bipolar Disorder type 1.  So does his birth father.  I am compliant on my medications.  It took me 8 years to finally get it right.  There were times I almost lost everything - my family, my job, my mind.  I am grateful for those who stuck with me through the good times and the really dark, ugly times.

Everyone knows at least 1 person that suffers from mental illness.  1 in FOUR people in America suffer from some sort of mental illness.  But yet, there still is a stigma.

Today, for myself and My D - this WILL STOP.  No longer will I apologize for his behaviors to strangers in public because he is on overload or having a meltdown.  I will no longer listen to people tell me that my child is on too much medicine.  I will not let people tell me I baby him when I choose to talk him down from a rage rather than "spank that ass."  I will keep fighting for his equal treatment at school - he has a mental illness, but he is a bright, smart boy.  I will love my child for who he is, not for what others think he should be.  I will not listen to negative ex-husbands telling me that I am doing it wrong when he is only with D 4 days a month and only is "Dad" when he wants to be.

Today the stigma will stop.  Follow me on mine and my family's journey.


Monday, November 26, 2012

Monkeying Around Monday #2

monkeying around mondays, grown up elf on the shelf for adults

Meet Hesher.  He is my sock monkey.  Mondays are so bad around here that even Hesher hits the bottle.  At least he's got good taste.  Ill let you know if hes a mean tequila drunk or a flirty one.  Remember - Monkeying Around Monday pictures can be sent to evilblacksockmonkey [at] gmail [dot] com.

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Black Friday

Ah Black Friday.  Saving money on cheap ass electronics that will fall apart in 6 months.  Getting trampled by your fellow Americans in search of the best deal on toys for your little selfish shits.  Got to love it.  Or not.  I choose not. 

Needless to say, I did not participate in Black Friday.  I had to leave the house though.  Frankie decided that he wanted munchies and soda.  My husband is like a teenager in the way he eats.

Frankie:  Let's go on a family trip to the store for soda.
Me: ...  Da fuck?
Frankie to #4:  Come on 4, let's go on a family trip to the store for soda.
#4: Sure Daddy!! I want a Sprite.
Me: ... Da Fuck?
Frankie:  Come on baby, let's go get soda.
Me:  Motherfuck.  I SAID I wasn't leaving the house until Monday!
#4: Come on Mommy!  A family field trip to the store!!!!
Me to Frankie:  The death glare...

I was totally in my house clothes - T Shirt yoga pants sans bra, because let's face it, I'm in my fucking house, if you don't want to see my boobs swinging, then please for the love for Bob, stay home!  Plus I threw on a jacket and flip flops.  I was totally ready for my People of Walmart photo shoot. (If you have never seen this website, just thank me later.) Except, it was cold, and I'm lazy.  Plus #4 decided to walk out of the house in shorts. Really kid? My ass sat in the truck while Frankie went in to get his teenage food groups.

Frankie: I bought you some mt. Dew.
Me:  Thanks, but I'm still pissed that I had to leave the house before Monday.
#4:  But Mommy!  Family Field Trip!

Monday, November 19, 2012

Monkeying Around Monday #1

Is this sock monkey driving or getting ready to give a little road head?  You decide.  Either way...Bad Sock Monkey!

Sock Monkey picture sent courtesy of Crunchy Sister and her husband.

Send your Evil Sock Monkey pics to evilblacksockmonkey (at) gmail (dot) com for Monkeying Around Mondays!

Sunday, November 18, 2012

The Cast of Characters

I'm sure that I will be talking about all of these people at one point or another, so to help you out, here's a list of peeps.

Frankie - my wonderful husband of 9 years.  He puts up with my insanity.  He's an awesome dad to all of our kids.
C - My oldest son. He is 16 and from my first marriage.
A - My 11 year old son. He is also from my first marriage.
D - My 10 year old son. Also from my first marriage.
B - My 7 year old son. He is mine and Frankie's son. He is Frankie's only biological child.

Mom - Duh, my mom.
L or Boston Sister - Lives in the Boston Area, duh.
K or Local Sister - Lives 2 blocks from me
M or Crunchy Sister - Lives in Arizona and is a crunchy person
N or Brother - my only brother and the youngest of my siblings

There are more people that I'm SURE I'll be talking about, but for now, these are the major players.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

The Beginning

Over and over again, life got in the way - kids' sports, doctors' appointments - typical bullshit.  As time went on, I could feel myself sinking deeper and deeper - losing myself, my opinions, my voice. 

I went back to work in August 2012 after being a stay at home mom for 3 years after being laid off.  For months, I wanted to get back into blogging.  I still felt like I had lost myself somewhere along the way.  I had things to say, but no one to say them too. 

One day, the name for this blog came to me in a most unusual way. I was also in the middle of a major depressive episode.  I knew that I had to start speaking or I'd lose myself forever. 

Take me as I am, or don't. If you don't like what I have to say, how I say it or who I say it about, there's a red X in the top right hand corner of your screen.  Use it.